Clear Memories
by ruiiko
Summary: Everyday on her walk home from school, Terra passes by Titans Tower. And she remembers. She remembers everything. She misses her friends, but she also knows it's better this way if she distances herself from them.


**Yeah, so... the display picture was supposed to be Terra walking past the Titans Tower, but it wouldnt show the whole pic... so just Terra walking. Anyways, enjoy and review!**

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The sun was just starting to set, as Terra began her walk home from school.

She and her friends said their goodbyes at the school gates, before going their seperate ways. The walk home was always quiet, but the blonde never minded too much. It gave her time to be by herself, and think clearly. She could enjoy the earth around her, but there were times when being alone for too long on her walk home caused... unsettling thoughts.

Almost everyday, Terra passed the Titans Tower.

The blonde paused, finding herself crossing over the pathway, the tower sticking out like a sore thumb. Almost always-she found herself laughing for the slightest moment, just thinking of how much of a good idea it would be to place the Tower in the middle of the City. The Titans could be easily located, but then again, they could also see everything that happened, as the tower was so big. Terra had always supposed it was a good idea for that purpose-but otherwise, it was also a terrible idea. She would have thought that, perhaps, their location would be a secret as to not be sought out by villains.

The blonde pulled her books tighter to her chest-it wasn't any of her business, anyways.

After all, she wasn't a Titan anymore.

Terra glanced down at her feet, feeling as if she had been staring at the tower to long. It brought back all sorts of memories-some good, and some bad.

And she found herself reminiscing on all of those things.

Yes, she still remembered.

She remembered everything-from the moment she met the Titans, to the moment she had left. The ups and downs, her whole time within being a Titan was like a roller coaster ride, yet she had no regrets.

She remembered how welcoming Cyborg had always been-he was quite enthusiastic to have another Titan on the team, and she felt as though he had always accepted her, in some way. Maybe he had his suspicions-maybe not, Terra could never tell, because as far as she was concerned, he had always treated her like family. He always tried to encourage her, was always the first to crack jokes, in attempts to make her smile. Terra missed that about him-it was rare to find someone so accepting. She had needed that in her life at the time.

A part of her still did need it.

She remembered how cheerful Starfire was, and in a way, she was like Cyborg... in a more pushy, clingy way. Loving, none the less, but Terra had always felt as though she was rather forceful with her love. The blonde still found bruises on her body, and her first thoughts would always fall back on the cheerful alien, who'd always hug her a little too tightly. She could still feel her tight grip wrap around her, crushing her against the other, and she found herself unable to breathe. Still, never the less, there were times she found herself longing for one of Starfire's crushing hugs. Simply because she was just so accepting, and even if forceful, she had always shown unconditional love towards the blonde.

Heck, she even missed the odd 'traditional' food of Tamaran she would cook up!

Terra remembered Robin-even if the two weren't the closest, Terra felt as if he was a big brother, in some sort of sense. He was determined, and serious, all the time. Never the less, he still always found the time to truly train her, to help her with her powers. He was encouraging-he could sense she was insecure, and though he never said anything about it, Terra knew he knew. But he still accepted her as she was, and was always the first to give her a chance. She supposed, in a way, the two were alike-she knew of his past of being Slade's apprentice, which is why when she thought of it, she always cringed on recalling their fight. She remembered how, even though she had turnt on all of them, he was still willing to give her another chance. He still wanted to try and redeem her, claiming that redemption was an option, and he could help her. After all, he would know best-he too, had been Slade's apprentice. He should have known better than any of the other Titans just what it felt like to be under that kind of pressure, but Terra remembered still pushing him away.

She regretted that more than ever, because that was when she needed help the most.

Raven had never been her favorite. However, that was okay, because the empath felt the same towards Terra. Leave it to an empath to know all about her inner turmoil. She knew all about Terra, and the blonde didn't even have to tell her a thing. Raven could see right through her, the whole time. She had always been rather weary of Terra, but the blonde felt the same towards Raven. The two were at odds with each other-they didn't get along-they butt heads all the time. Terra recalled all the times she tried to get on Raven's good side, but she pushed her away. She supposed they were alike in the way that they were both very stubborn, because they always refused to get along. That's what it seemed like, anyways-she could recall feeling uneasy whenever Raven was around. She was an empath, after all, she could sense just what she was thinking, or feeling, or planning.

Despite this, Terra felt the need to have this sort of tough love. Though they butt heads, all the time, Raven did teach her to try and trust people a little more. She taught her that respect had to be earned.

And... Beast Boy. Terra remembered him. She found herself thinking of him more than she would like to admit-and she felt guilty. She had put him through so much, more than she had put anyone else on the team through. He still visited her, he still tried to get her to acknowledged who she was, tried to get her to recall her memories. But he would still be so sweet to her. He would show up at the school gates, and would try and serenade her with a song, or would attempt to ask her out. If it hadn't been for Amber and Dionne trying to protect her from him, she would have gone out with him more often.

She still liked him.

Not that she could admit it-it could never be as simple as it sounded. Things change, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the good.

It was probably for the best that she stayed away from him, found herself a boyfriend at her own school. She couldn't be with him, because if she did, all she would feel is guilt. She felt horrible when she thought of how much she had hurt him, because he had trusted her more than anyone. She felt the same-he was funny, and cute, and soft, and warm-he always made her feel happy. He was fun, he made her smile, and she wanted to make him happy, but she couldn't. She wished they could go out to the carnival again, or have pumpkin pie at the dinner again-sneaking out of Titans Tower at late hours-only, this time, without having Sladebots attack the others.

More than ever, she just wanted to feel accepted.

She never truly felt accepted with the Titans, though they tried their best to make her stay nice, she had just felt out of place. She had been on the run for so long she had forgotten what it was like to have actual friends who treated you nice, so when she found the Titans, she was eager to befriend them. Not to mention they were all different, much like herself-such was not the case, anymore. There were times where Terra thought as though she still had her powers, but she couldn't activate them. Back then, she could hardly control them, and caused alot of havoc for all those around her. Which is why she had taken up Slade's offer-being naive, she thought he could help her, but it turns out he was just using her for his sick plans. He was controlling her, not helping her.

She had came to terms with this so long ago, and still felt sick to her stomach when she thought of him.

The blonde had been through so much within the last few years, so to find herself anew one day, she felt better. She felt normal. Now, although she lived within an orphanage, she went to school now. She found two best friends she wouldn't trade for the world, and while her old memories still haunted her, Terra felt as though it was best where she was at, right now.

Terra jerked her head away from the tower, finding herself staring for too long.

She missed her friends, she really did.

She may have been in a better place now, but that never stopped her erratic thoughts.

The girl picked up her pace, feeling the need to move on.

After all, things change, and it for the better to stay away from her past.


End file.
